Back in Black

Say what you will, Black Friday is my bag baby. Is it the deals? Is it standing outside in sub-freezing temperatures with strangers? Is it watching the everyday Suzie Homemaker turn into a fire breathing monster over the last hot pink hoodie in a size 6? Well, to tell the truth, for me, it is a little bit of all of the above.

I grazed the ads on Thanksgiving Day to see where I would be collecting frost the next morning. Believe it or not, my destination ended up being Staples. Not Target. Not Macy's. Nope, it was home of the easy button for me. The husband wanted a Bluetooth and they had a really nice $100 one for $50. The bluetooth I was waiting for was on page 2 of the circular. I didn't even need a ticket. Because I was one of the first 5 in line, they let us in before the store opened to get stuff. I was checked out before the store actually opened. I'm guessing the experience was not so good for the hundreds of people waiting to get into Walmart next door.

My next store was Michael's cuz, well, it was next door and it still was not 6am. I gleefully asked a woman in line what we were waiting for. They were all very tight lipped. Suddenly someone lets it slip that there are lighted Christmas trees for 50% off. Wowza....but um, I don't need one. Another woman tells me that she is there for a special cartridge. I squint my eyes and say "well, I'm gonna get them first." She was apparently not in the mood to joke about it. C'mon, the machine itself is like $250, I'm not gonna buy a cartridge just out of spite...or am I? It is in the spirit of Black Friday to destroy the person standing next to you, but instead I stocked up on some paints and stuff.

Then I jotted off to Macy's. It seems as though they have coupons, but they should put in the fine print "you can not use them for anything." I tried to buy perfume. Can't use them in cosmetics. I tried to buy clothes. Can't use them for door buster deals. Anyway, I pick up a $99 Nautica wool top coat (retail $350) for Jeremy. I didn't get to use my coupon there either because you can't use them on outerwear. Seriously, I should have used their circular to make a hut for warmth. It would have done me more good. I trotted on over to my beloved Sephora, but apparently they were not participating the "open before the sun comes up tradition." Bastards. So off to Old Navy I go, cuz really, why not.

I pick up some stuff for my angel tree kids. Can you believe they charge $17 for toddler jeans!!! Good thing they were half off. Old Navy sucked because I was lugging a huge wool coat around on a wooden hanger, which was awkward in the first place, but I now have begun to sweat from the 14 layers of clothing I'm still wearing to guard me from the cold outside. Then there was a guy who was bugging the piss out of me in line. I won't get into all the details of why I wanted to hurt him, but I'll end it with this gem, he was checking out with his friend's debit card and didn't have the PIN, so he was trying to call him on his cell even though the cashier said "no one gets service in here." Oh yeah. He started hmmm and hawing like this was such a huge inconvenience for him. I didn't feel violent because it was Black Friday. This guy is a douche bag no matter what day you are talking about.

Anyway, I digress. Off to Bath and Body Works. No big deals. I walk out, cuz if I'm up before the sun, you need to GIVE ME SOMETHING.

I head home for a little food and to peruse the ads again. I wake up Jeremy and make him try on the coat. He doesn't like that it is 3/4 length not full length. I explain to him that those were already gone. So I head back to da mall and return the coat. I am met by an older man who just doesn't understand why I would COME BACK to the mall. I told him that I had to check Sephora for the Beauty Insider reward. By the way, it totally sucked. C'mon Sephora, get with the game!! I rounded out my day with a little Disney store and Sears action. I left Target for Saturday which is another story all together.