Strange Forms of Punishment

The husband has been tormenting me endlessly about my little slip up with his credit card. I can't tell you how many forms of "Can you get me a beer from the fridge? Oh, just put it on my card" I've gotten in the past two days.

For Valentine's Day, I knew he was going to break our agreement, because not only did I break the agreement, ah fuck it, you know the story. I was so curious to see how this Valentine's Day would play out.

I woke up early and walked seven miles with my girls. That's right. Seven. It was worth it. We got to eat bacon and Harris Bueller was the community boyfriend and bought us all breakfast. He's so awesome. I'd like to take this moment to give him a solid shout out so he knows how much I appreciated that.


Afterwards, I headed over to my friends house for hours of girl gabbing. The husband said he needed the house for a few hours, so there you go. He showed up at her door with chocolates and ice cream to keep up occupied while we watched HGTV. I swear, I may have to get cable. Wow. That channel is craptastic and I want to watch it ALL THE TIME. The Deals on the Bus go round and round. I finally left when Toddlers and Tiaras came on. I feel after watching that show that even *I* could be a fit mother. I will not spray tan my four-year-old. I will not make her wear false teeth. I might even get mother of the year. Go me.

When I got home, Jeremy had made an awesome pasta dinner with cheesy bread. I finished off a bottle of pink champagne, that I surely paid for the next day.

Now on to my punishment. I broke the deal. I knew he was going to get me presents. He framed the last leaf he had picked and pressed the month we met. For those of you counting, he picked it more than six years ago and held on to it. It is just like the one he gave to me the night he proposed. This one holds a quote that says, "It's no good trying to fool yourself about love. You can't fall into it like a soft job, without dirtying your hands. It takes muscle and guts. And if you can't bear the thought of messing up your nice, clean soul, you'd better give up the whole idea of life and become a saint because you'll never make it as a human being in either this world or the next." I'm gonna guess he forgives me for the credit card thing, and the not doing laundry thing, and the never vacuuming thing, and the coming home late thing...

After dinner, just when I thought all the surprises were done, he gave me a necklace, with a delicate white gold chain and diamonds emedded in a perfect circle. He has a strange way of punishing me. I believe he is encouraging bad behavior.

He is so sweet, I think I'll get him something really nice. After all, I do still have his credit card number. *Insert evil laugh here*