When I was in college, one of my favorite songs had the lyrics "I can still remember when 30 was old." In my mid-twenties, I embraced the thought of passing the big three-oh. I laughed at my petty peers who looked at aging like "the end."
Well, it came and went and I thought I was handling it pretty well. I didn't fear crow's feet or not being able to wear funky styles. I was happy to leave the luxury of youth and replace it with stability, security and a true sense of self.
I am taking care of myself more than ever and have even been sticking to this whole exercise thing. Then it happened. My body turned on me. Apparently, even if I ignore the sands of time, my body refuses to.
The first thing to go was my blood pressure. At a dentist's appointment, I discovered I have high blood pressure. At 29, I was fine. Today, not fine. What changed?
My hormones slowly found a way to drive me insane. Spots on my face. Mood swings. Body temperature problems. The list really goes on and on for this one.
Now that I have been exercising, I don't actually lose weight like I did when I was a teen. Nope. All the stuff just moves around and instead of my skin snapping back, it sags into little rolls making my naked body look more like a melted candle than human.
Despite my best efforts, my gums are receding. Oh yeah, long in the tooth, party of one.
I can't stay up past midnight if I try, but on "school nights" I can't sleep, so I toss and turn all night long.
I finally know why people don't want to age. It has less to do with vanity and more to do with facing the reality that I may be putting my bra on around my waist in 10 years.
I have found true sense of self. I am bitchy, saggy, hot, cold, spotted insomniac with hypertension. Pass me an effing cookie.
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3 comments:
Seriously ... we need to have a talk. This is a little bit too pessimistic for a day when the sun is shining so brightly and the trees are all in bloom. Really, can't we try to see the brighter side of things? You can go further than you ever could before when you are out exercising -- don't you remember when three loops around the park sent you into a fit of bad language and yesterday you did it as if there was nothing too it. You have gotten thinner, though you might not have dropped pounds, you are dropping inches and retoning your apparently OLD body. You have connected with friends in a way that can be healthy as well as fun. Sure, we need to get the sleep fixed, you can work on your blood pressure ... but really, life is pretty good. You are close to finding a house. You are going to San Fran with some of the best women you know(if I do say so myself). Do I really need to go on? Snap out of it. Don't be so down on yourself. See the wonderful things I see. So there. Now go eat a cookie.
All I heard was blah blah blah, eat a cookie.
Then I went to eat a cookie and found that my husband GAVE THEM TO THE NEIGHBOR CHILDREN.
Grr.
Yeah, my favorite is that my doctors are now telling me I shouldn't wait too long to have children. Somewhere between 29 and 30, they decided my eggs were exponentially drying up. So that's fun. I'll bring you a cookie the next time I see you. And I won't let Jeremy give it to the neighbor kids. We'll throw rocks at them instead. : )
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