Friday, February 20, 2009

Sibling Rilvary

Greetings from The Mitt. I'm hanging out in Michigan with my family, namely my mom and my brother. He's living in Michigan which is a bit odd because he hates cold and well, Michigan is cold.

I went to my aunt's today and did three miles on her treadmill. It was nice looking out the window and seeing woods and flurries while I worked out. There is something poetic about sweating out your body weight in water while seeing snow. I was sporting my new hot pink wicking shirt and awesome new running shoes. I was styling, with the exception of my lavander pants, but really, I'm with family, who is actually looking?

I'm feeling a little too relaxed for the days I've been away from Kentucky. I think being off work and away from it all is doing me good. My brother, although he has his problems like everyone else, always teaches me that all you can do with the world is look at it and laugh. He is quick with a smile and is always cracking jokes, no matter the situation. He can be severely inappropriate, so it is nice to not be the only one.

Leave it to a sibling to suck all the originality out of your personlity. I think I'm gonna short sheet his bed.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Training Schmaining

I've been trying to stick to the mini-marathon training schedule. I'm not trying to break any records. I just want to be able to finish without thinking I'm going to die. I've been pretty good for the past couple of days. I think it is amusing that I'll look at the schedule and if it calls for one mile instead of two or four or whatever, I think to myself "why even bother if you are only going to go ONE mile."

That moment reminded me of the time when one mile was a pretty big deal to me. I used to absolutely dread walking/running a mile and now I know that it is no big thing. It gave me hope that one day I will look at five miles like no big thing. It is what kept me going through some nasty shin and foot pain yesterday.

Halladay Celebration laid out the walking routes for me. She said the reason I'm all skeered is because I haven't done it and it is new/unknown. She assured me that I would not die during this and that if I do it once, it will be a lot less scary the next time.

I'm heading to Michigan tomorrow and I'm concerned that I will get off track because, well, it is 15 farking degrees. I've walked in some pretty chilly weather, but c'mon, that is just unnecessary. My mom said she'll take me to the mall and we'll do some laps. Isn't that just like a mom to make it all ok? I bet she'll make me some hot cocoa too.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Strange Forms of Punishment

The husband has been tormenting me endlessly about my little slip up with his credit card. I can't tell you how many forms of "Can you get me a beer from the fridge? Oh, just put it on my card" I've gotten in the past two days.

For Valentine's Day, I knew he was going to break our agreement, because not only did I break the agreement, ah fuck it, you know the story. I was so curious to see how this Valentine's Day would play out.

I woke up early and walked seven miles with my girls. That's right. Seven. It was worth it. We got to eat bacon and Harris Bueller was the community boyfriend and bought us all breakfast. He's so awesome. I'd like to take this moment to give him a solid shout out so he knows how much I appreciated that.


Afterwards, I headed over to my friends house for hours of girl gabbing. The husband said he needed the house for a few hours, so there you go. He showed up at her door with chocolates and ice cream to keep up occupied while we watched HGTV. I swear, I may have to get cable. Wow. That channel is craptastic and I want to watch it ALL THE TIME. The Deals on the Bus go round and round. I finally left when Toddlers and Tiaras came on. I feel after watching that show that even *I* could be a fit mother. I will not spray tan my four-year-old. I will not make her wear false teeth. I might even get mother of the year. Go me.

When I got home, Jeremy had made an awesome pasta dinner with cheesy bread. I finished off a bottle of pink champagne, that I surely paid for the next day.

Now on to my punishment. I broke the deal. I knew he was going to get me presents. He framed the last leaf he had picked and pressed the month we met. For those of you counting, he picked it more than six years ago and held on to it. It is just like the one he gave to me the night he proposed. This one holds a quote that says, "It's no good trying to fool yourself about love. You can't fall into it like a soft job, without dirtying your hands. It takes muscle and guts. And if you can't bear the thought of messing up your nice, clean soul, you'd better give up the whole idea of life and become a saint because you'll never make it as a human being in either this world or the next." I'm gonna guess he forgives me for the credit card thing, and the not doing laundry thing, and the never vacuuming thing, and the coming home late thing...

After dinner, just when I thought all the surprises were done, he gave me a necklace, with a delicate white gold chain and diamonds emedded in a perfect circle. He has a strange way of punishing me. I believe he is encouraging bad behavior.

He is so sweet, I think I'll get him something really nice. After all, I do still have his credit card number. *Insert evil laugh here*

Friday, February 13, 2009

Best.Wife.Ever

Every year my husband and I have a tradition on Valentine's Day. We make an agreement that we will not buy each other anything. He then ignores the agreement and buys me something amazing. I then feel like a schmuck.

This year I really wanted to get him. We made our traditional agreement. He even called me today to confirm that we are sticking to the agreement. I, however, knowing how he always breaks this agreement, ordered him something online. It is supposed to arrive Monday, which is NOT on Valentine's Day, so technically, I'm still sticking to the agreement.

I get a call from my beloved this afternoon to ask if I had bought something online. I think to myself "wow, that got here quick!" I stutter "y ye yeah, why?" He then lets me know that there is a charge on HIS card. Suddenly memory of the whole ordering process flashes before my eyes. I was in a hurry. I was just clicking buttons. I FRACKING USED HIS CARD TO BUY HIS SURPRISE VALENTINE'S DAY PRESENT! I explain what happened to my husband.

After he picks himself off the floor, gasping for air, he says "so let me get this right. You lied right to my face about our agreement when I called you today, you bought me a present from a discount store online AND you used my credit card to do it?"

Silence. Silence. Silence. I giggle. "Surprise?"

I'm totally the best.wife.ever.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Kaboom

That is the sound of my fat ass falling off the wagon.

Sure I have some awesome excuses like the terrible sickness I got right before I went to the inauguration, the massive ice/snow storm that brought the smack down to Mrs. Gallagher's neighborhood, TJ Brooker forcing me kicking and screaming to Red Lobster, you know, the usual. I need to focus.

I have invested in an ipod nano and a nifty little chip that tells me how far I have gone, how fast and the like. I haven't used it yet, because I'm a slacker. My husband always says that I don't feel like I have committed to something unless I spend money, and then I don't follow through. This is just another example of me proving him right. I'm pretty sure that is why he keeps me around.

I'm crossing my fingers that tonight will be the night I will kick myself in the ass and head to the gym. I'm hoping all the New Year's resolution bastards are gone. They make me want to kick puppies.